Cool Mommy & Daddy Syndrome

I can only imagine how tough it must be to to turn 30, get married, have babies, and hang on your cool 20-something self.  Since I am 24, unmarried, and definitely babyless, this issue shouldn’t even be hanging around in my consciousness.  Unfortunately, my neighborhood is absolutely teeming with uber-hip parents and their far-out way-cool retro-stylin babies.  These fab young families force me to think about this every time I go to the grocery store, where a beautiful big-eyed baby gurgles up at me from within its SUV of a stroller as it listens to Sufyan Stevens on its tiny iPod.  If your baby loves the Ramones and is really sad about CBGB’s closing, the shops of Park Slope have the gear he/she needs to express himself.  Or rather, if you think that you can stay young forever by dressing your baby in miniature versions of the t-shirts you wore in college, Park Slope can help you with that. 

Every time I walk by a window displaying shirts for infants that are cooler and hipper than anything I own, or an ad for a Disco Baby event like this one, I get a little cranky.  I want to make pronouncements about Trying Too Hard.  That’s right, I went there.  Every junior high kid in America knows that nothing is more fatal to Cool than Trying Too Hard.  And dressing your baby in a t-shirt that says “Daddy is a Geek” in trendy san serif lettering inspired by the Studio 54 logo?  Trying.  Too.  Hard.

Do I feel a little sorry for the trendy offspring because their parents are using them as living accessories?  A little bit.  But mostly I’m just really jealous their fancy tees and swingin disco parties.  And I really really want an A-Team onesy.