Dick’s Identity Crisis

Vice President Cheney has been having some trouble lately with his identity. He does not believe the office of the Vice President to be “an entity within the executive branch,” because he breaks ties in the Senate. But he does not seem to self-identify as a member of the legislative branch either, since he refuses to answer questions for pesky congressional committees.

All this confusion has no doubt left sixth grade civics teachers and School House Rock writers with deep misgivings about what they have been teaching the school children of America. I for one got through years of primary, secondary, and higher education without ever learning about the TOP SECRET EXTRA SPECIAL FOURTH BRANCH of the federal government to which Cheney must belong. Sigh – the system has failed me.

In response to all this madness Jon Stewart has started a hilarious new segment on the Daily Show called You Don’t Know Dick. The Colbert Report’s “The Word” segment was also very funny on the topic. You have to laugh when a crazy malicious old guy is running your country with total disregard for the rules.

I was thinking, maybe Dick isn’t being sneaky, maybe he is just confused. He does wear a lot of hats, and perhaps he has just become befuddled by his many roles….

This Week in Critter Science

Oh, science, always with the learning and the wackiness. Here are two fabulous tidbits that i learned last week. They may not really be science news, per se, but they were news to me.

This week I learned the best kept secret in ornithology. You didn’t know that ornithologists were secretive, did you? But it turns out they are positively Cheney-esque in their surreptitiousness when it comes to this little tidbit. You may or may not have heard that bird bones are hollow. Easier to fly, ligher, etc. Sure, why not? “But how can they just be hollow? Where does that air come from Where do they put their bone marrow?” you may ask yourself, if you are me, and watching Winged Migration has made you feel particularly investigative. Well I’ll tell you. It comes from their lungs! Bird lungs do not have the same little oxygen absorption thingees in their lungs that we do. Their lungs are connected to a bunch of air sacs, and the air sacs are connected to the insides of their bones! They breathe, and the air goes in their lungs and the oxygen exchange happens (like us) but also the air flows through their bones! I think this is weird and crazy cool, and have been very disappointed with the less-than-enthusiastic response I get when I share this awesome knowledge. But you nerd patrols reading the internetz for fun are bound to be enthused about this wacky science, right? I know I am.

It turns out that Cat Scratch Fever is not just a Ted Nugent song, but also a real disease. Called CSD, for Cat Scratch Disease. You can get it if a kitteh with some special kind of bacteria scratches or bites you. Kittens are more likely to have the bacteria than adult cats, so be careful around adorable pets; it causes swollen lymph nodes, fever, tiredness, and can take up to 3 weeks to go away.

Homos: You Can Find Them By Measuring Their Fingers and Stuff