It’s Official: Barack is Classier Than I Am

Last night, Barack gave his nomination acceptance speech in Denver, and while he drew lots of comparisons between McCain and himself, he also did a nice job of keeping it policy-related.

And after listing his priorities (fighting Al Quaeda, climate change, poverty, and genocide, restoring America’s moral standing in the world by engaging in diplomacy instead of cowboyism, etc), he said:

These are the policies I will pursue. And in the weeks ahead, I look forward to debating them with John McCain.

But what I will not do is suggest that the Senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other’s character and patriotism.

That is really lovely. But, ok, let me just go ahead and do the character maligning that Barack is too classy for.

(1) John McCain cheated on his wife, the mother of his three eldest children, divorced her to marry his filthy rich 25-year-old mistress (current wife Cindy), who he called a cunt in front of a bunch of reporters.

You haven’t heard about the first story because, I guess, it is unpatriotic to bring up the morally questionable actions of a POW. And you haven’t heard about the second because it’s awkward for news reporters to say “cunt” on the air. So, thank you, internet!

(warning: this YouTube link is fantastic and hilarious, but not work appropriate, so click accordingly)

The full quote, “At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt” (this in response to a playful comment about his hair is thinning) raises an interesting question: which is worse, being old enough to say “trollop” or mean enough to say “cunt”?

In Which a Sexist Remark is Prefaced by “I’m not trying to be sexist, but…”

Bob Novak went on the Hugh Hewitt Show to talk about his memoir, Prince of Darkness (his title, I swear), where he said the following:

I hate to say it, but I think the hatred toward George W. Bush is just mad. I listen to, sometimes in the car radio, on talk shows, and the venom that comes out of the mouths of some of these women, particularly, I’m not trying to be sexist, but they’re so vicious toward him. And I don’t think that really contributes. And also, the bloggers, I don’t read the bloggers very much, but it is really, it’s really vicious.

I don’t know why women would be particularly spiteful toward LOLprez. Let me think… it could be that building a Supreme Court full of justices who want to overturn Roe v. Wade makes some of us a little nervous, or that we find it patronizing when justices make rulings about reproductive health in order to stop adult women from making choices that will make them feel sad later on. Some of us might be slightly less than pleased with the Bush Administration’s emphasis on abstinence only sex “education,” others might be displeased about reports of female soldiers being sexually assaulted by their male colleagues. We might be miffed about the inappropriate appointees at the FDA’s Office of Reproductive Health or the DOJ’s Office of Violence Against Women. But, please, ladies! That’s no reason to be so vicious!

Probably we all just have our periods or something.

Uh, Siriusly?

Sometimes I wish that the Democrats had the word coopting skills that the right has mastered so well. They call their education plan No Child Left Behind and, of course everyone’s favorite – their suspension of habeus corpus The Patriot Act. Wouldn’t it be nice to sponsor a war deauthorization called Safe and Victorious? Or instead of calling the campaign finance reform McCain-Feingold (catchy though it is), something like The Elections Aren’t For Sale Act.

I don’t know, I’m just tossing out ideas.

Anyway, this is all very tempting until I watch the other side do it, and remember how hopping mad and nauseous it makes me. It’s not enough for the White House communications staff to be hired out of Fox News, the President has to straight up steal their slogan. That’s right, LOLprez announced recently that the Libby pardon was “fair and balanced.” If that sounds familiar, it’s because those words are being tossed around with complete disregard for their definitions in exactly the same way over at Bill O’Reilly & Co.

My new favorite is Sirius Radio, who recently introduced two political talk radio channels: SiriusLeft, and… wait for it… SiriusPatriot. Now, I don’t personally bristle at the label of “Lefty,” but that’s because I am a bleeding heart pinko commie leftwing nutjob, and I embrace the title. Other, more middle of the road Dems who are less enamoured of Ralph Nader probably feel differently about the characterization. But that’s not what gets me. Nor is it the gross lack of any effort to be evenhanded. (Though seriously, is there some sort of problem with the parity of “Right” and “Left”? “Liberal” and “Conservative”? “Donkey” and “Elephant”? These terms come in pairs, they really do.) But no, it’s not the faulty parallelism either. It is the blatant misuse and coopting of the term “patriot.”

Obviously “patriotic” and “conservative” are not mutually exclusive. But they are also not synonymous, and I am really sick of having this word used so innapropriately. I’m saying this as a Democrat, and a democrat, and a liberal, and a patriot, but first and foremost as a person who uses words to communicate with other people, and so depends on other people to use vocabulary correctly.

And so, in the spirit of education and propgation of proper English usage, I am instituting the No Blog Reader Left Behind Vocabulary Initiative of 2007, which seeks to spread knowledge of words. I am starting with these:

Conservative

1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Traditional or restrained in style
3. Moderate; cautious
4. (often initial capital letter) Of or pertaining to the Conservative party.
5. Disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.

Liberal

1. Favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.
2. (often initial capital letter) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.
3. Favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

Patriotic
1. Having or showing great love for one’s country.

Make of these definitions what you will, and choose your talk radio accordingly, I suppose.

(Does anyone else find it particulary ironic that the very people [conservatives] who are so eager to use these two very different terms [patriot & conservative] interchangably are the same ones who would like to make English the official language of the United States, thus stopping the translation of any government documents [including ballot materials!] to other languages? Because if I were to get behind such an initiative, I would want to first make sure that I myself were fluent.)

Argh! To lighten the mood, I offer the following fair and balanced image of
Pug Dog Wearing A Birthday Hat.